Four Years!

     Today marks four years since Dwayne's memorial service. I can still recall very clearly many of the details of his last weeks four years ago. Other times, that time in 2014 seems like it belongs to someone else's life. Awhile back I  realized that the original title to this Blog-We've been this way before, no longer is fitting. This is all uncharted territory with so much that is the "new normal". So many things have changed, some because of necessity and others because they are painful. I have learned much from people in my life who have gone through similar circumstances, and others who have experienced hard things and knew that if it were not for family and friends coming along side of them they would be completely overwhelmed.

       Some observations that hit close to home: when you are no longer part of a couple-some relationships change. Friendships are different. Since I was the first one in the group of our friends to lose a spouse, many of my friends for 30+ years are in such a different place than I am. I have more in common with some remarkable women who are 20 years older that me. They have lived a lot of life and have taught me many wonderful lessons. They get some of the "hard" things-holidays, groups at church that are geared to couples, the frustrations of making all the decisions without someone to discuss it with. This especially hit home the past three months. Sometimes life can be "too much". This summer,  a pipe broke in the house and had major flooding. Much damage was done, and Jared and I needed to move out for two months. So friends let us stay in their guest condo. We moved back home four weeks ago, even though not everything was complete. This has been a huge hassle and an unexpected construction project-not something I reccomend two weeks before school starts at a brand new job! We got running water in the kitchen today. I'm thrilled!

     But the constant has been the faithfulness of family and friends. Again, I have been reminded that God has been there from the beginning and He's been faithful to take care of us. I have been stretched, sometimes I feel to the breaking point, but God will put someone in my path to encourage me, just at the right time, even though they may not be aware of it. For someone who tends to be more of an introvert, I have been in three new schools due to student teaching and my first job as a special ed teacher in a distrtict about an hour away from my home. Then, a long term sub job last year in a local district and now full time in that district in three different schools. This has been a stretch for someone who went to the same parking lot for 12 years-at two different schools. I have to put myself out there to meet new staff and parents, not always easy for me.  I have met many new people because of work situations and taking classes over the past three years, one thing that keeps coming back to me, everyone has a story and sometimes I need to get past my first impressions and know other people are dealing with big and small challenges in their lives. It pays to be patient.



This summer I got Dwayne's marker done. Since he is buried in Grass Valley, the wonderful lady who helped me plan it, sent me a photo a few weeks ago when it was installed. Was greatful for her kindness and help.

A bit of catching up-I wrote this awhile back and forgot to post it.

     It has been over a year since I updated. There has been so much happen in the past year, I figured it was the best way to give you the details, rather that a very long Facebook post.

     First of all is a change in the name of the blog. When I began this in 2011, the titled was a nod to Neil Diamond and his song "I've been this way before". Dwayne loved his music. Since Dwayne's diagnosis was the second time we had dealt with cancer during our marriage, We've been this way before seemed appropriate. The past two years have been completely uncharted territory for me, hence the name change.

     When I posted last, I mentioned that Jared had been hospitalized at our local hospital for balance problems. The result of that was a major surgery done at UCLA two weeks after I began classes at Concordia. Not the way to begin a new endeavor of going back to school.  The professors were so gracious and I had amazing help from friends and family, since after the surgery Jared had a 4 day hospital stay in LA,  I was still working and doing classes. The surgery was successful and his balance is normal again.

     School was a wild ride for me! Going back to school in your 50's is not for the faint of heart! Most of my fellow students were in their 20's and 30's, there were four of us older students too. I did give the 'youngsters' a few good giggles. After the first block of classes, and they were talking about their grades, I wondered why I hadn't gotten mine and mentioned that it was taking them awhile to arrive in the mail.  After, they quit laughing, one kind soul showed me how to find them on the school web-page. I enjoyed the other students so much. It was great being around their energy and enthusiasm. The nice thing with the program it was small and you got to know the other students and professors. I couldn't have asked for a better experience. So, in 13 months I completed 32 units and had my Education Specialist California Credential.